i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
