C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Randomize
