On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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