shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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