eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
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