umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
