It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
