Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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