i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
