the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
