Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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