Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Randomize
