So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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