margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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