The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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