Hey man sorry I got all grabby
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
