just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
