By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
i think i just lost a toe
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
