'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
