I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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