i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Your shirt... Was in my pants
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Your penis caused this!
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
