If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
