Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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