I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I cut my penus on the lid.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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