Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
we're making bets on your personal life
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
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