Don't you send me to vm
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Randomize
