Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
