Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
They took my balls.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
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