Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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