Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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