dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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