If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
