Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
