That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I want her autograph on my taint
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
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