More tranny stories later!
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
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guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
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The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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