the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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