What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
