ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Dick very happy bro
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