i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
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