was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
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