It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
