I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
