how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
