she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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