let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
