I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
