Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Semen is not good for contacts.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize