we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
