careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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