Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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