the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
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