at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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