Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
