I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Randomize
