that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Randomize