"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
