Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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