She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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