Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(805): View more from California

i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.

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(613): View more from Ontario

the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek

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(586): View more from Michigan

yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.

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(678): View more from Georgia

part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic

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(662): View more from Mississippi

neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe

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(606): View more from Kentucky

I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.

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(615): View more from Tennessee

Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.

Fav 13 4243 1242
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(209): View more from California

i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.

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(620): View more from Kansas

Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.

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