And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
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