Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(443): View more from Maryland

How is it? Sketchville?

(1-443): View more from Maryland

cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness

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(813): View more from Florida

I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

is drinking for groundhog day legit?

(1-484): View more from Pennsylvania

well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes

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(270): View more from Kentucky

Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.

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(416): View more from Toronto

Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?

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(970): View more from Colorado

Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.

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(555): View more from

I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom

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