I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize