Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(916): View more from California

put your butt on the phone this is a booty call

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(304): View more from West Virginia

My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick

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(417): View more from Missouri

i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk

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(304): View more from West Virginia

I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.

(1-304): View more from West Virginia

Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?

(304): View more from West Virginia

No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.

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(423): View more from Tennessee

Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility

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(941): View more from Florida

He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.

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(425): View more from Washington

So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.

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(219): View more from Indiana

Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.

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