Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
