We should be called the Road Head Warriors
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
